The Blame Game

Mrs. Sahastrabuddhe, the most beautiful Maths teachers I have ever got.

I was in class 9 in a municipal corporation school. I was a bright student in my class 9 F, and an average student in my school. It was a trend those days that bright students were supposed to be either in sections like A or B, and dumb and average students should be in other section. Such a talent-based discrimination it was. Though the word discrimination is not new to Indian context, it was new for me. But for now, let’s come back to the beautiful Mrs. Sahastrabuddhe.

Almost all the student had a crush on her. But I never liked students talking such stuff about their ‘respective’ teacher. They used to talk about her looks, her dresses, her sarees, and about many things that being a teacher I could not write here. They used to enjoy the talk about her. I did enjoy listening to those talks but I had huge respect for her, as I was her favourite student. We were lucky to have her as our teacher. She was never loud, never angry, and was never strict. What more a student from 90s municipal corporation school could ask for!

In class X, we had a chapter in Mathematics, Trigonometry. Being a favourite student of my Maths teacher, I, though wasn’t interested in trigonometry, went to exhibit my curiosity in trigonometry to Mrs. Sahastrabuddhe. I had a doubt and asked her that.

Mrs. Sahastrabuddhe replied, “Don’t worry this is very easy. You can do it on your own.”

I thought that she was trying to encourage me and was trying to make me know the importance of self-learning. I practiced those sums on my own, but couldn’t solve most of them. After some days, I again went and asked my doubts but I got the same reply from Mrs. Sahastrabuddhe.

In the preliminary examination I scored 70 on 75 in Algebra. Those five marks I lost were in a trigonometry problem. This time I was worried. I went to Mrs. Sahastrabuddhe and asked her to clarify my doubts, and she said:

“This chapter carries seven marks in the board examinations and other questions are as options. You can opt for them rather than spending your time in practicing trigonometry and clarifying your doubts.”

I passed my class X with flying colours, and got admission in science stream in one of the reputed junior colleges in Pune. You have to be very good in Maths and Science in order to survive science stream. I was average. On top of that you have to be very good in trigonometry because half of the syllabus had some or the other trigonometry in it. I couldn’t manage that. My teacher in the college, Mrs. Joshi, whenever asked any doubt, used to reply:

“Sikhaate waqt kahaa dhyaan hota hai?” (Were you paying attention while I was teaching?)  

Next many lectures, I was attentive, but was not able to understand even basic things in what she was teaching. I asked her to help me out and I was answered:

“First go and strengthen your Mathematics. Your previous knowledge of Mathematics is not good.”

Year passed. I failed in Mathematics in 12^th boards examination. I have no reason or excuse for my failure. I started hating Mathematics since that day.

Right now, when I go in flashback and think about the entire event, thousands of questions come in my mind. Why did Mrs. Sahastrabuddhe not clarify my doubts in trigonometry? Was she a good teacher? Did she actually have enough knowledge about Mathematics? Or was she trying to avoid my doubts because of certain reasons? Or teachers in those times were too busy with their workload to pay personal attention to the students in need? Many questions but no answer. Many doubts but no conclusion. Same thing I would ask about Mrs. Joshi. Was she not interested in answering my questions? Why didn’t she clarify my basic doubts? Was I not good in looks? Or was she also overloaded with her work that she didn’t get time to answer? Or in both these cases of Mrs. Sahastrabuddhe and Mrs. Joshi, was there something wrong in their ideology towards teaching?

I have no clue. I can only make assumptions about those incidents. But one fortunate thing that happened because of those events is:  The student who wanted to become an engineer (as it was his and his family’s dream so that he could get a good job and earn good) has become a teacher and has started analyzing the entire education sector for spoiling the dreams of so many students.

I don’t know whether my blame to my teachers is right or wrong, I only know one thing, that all the students’ doubts should be clarified in order to make them enjoy the learning if not helping them to become engineers and doctors.