Memories Left Behind

‘Field to table’ unit was going on in my class. Students were enthusiastically participating in every activity. That day we planned to do a role play where children had to do different roles of farmer, shopkeeper, etc. Ishwar was the shopkeeper and was selling his goods to the customers. Deepshikha ma’am came smiling to me and said, “So much enjoy these kids are doing. When I was small I also used to play and enjoy a lot. We all girls used to play Barbie and shopkeeper game where I used to be shopkeeper. Have you ever played such games in your childhood?” She asked while arranging the book shelves.

“Yes, we played a lot like these kids. Actually, I not played the shopkeeper game but I have experienced how to run a shop in my childhood.” I replied to her.

“How?” Deepshikha ma’am, continued to ask.

“Our family had many shops. My father had a general stores and I used to sit over there handling the customers as well as eating sweets from the shop.” I told her. I was watching Eshwar carefully, how he was handling all the customers in his shop. The way he arranged himself to get ready to sell was superb. “Khushboo ma’am, why don’t you come to my shop to buy something?” Eshwar called me and I went.

“Khushboo, ek Parle G biscuit ka packet to dena,” Mishra uncle called me and I was at the counter of our shop. I was hardly eleven or twelve years old. I was handling the shop single handedly but when it comes to weighing goods, I was not perfect at that. I used to give sometimes more and sometimes less goods on the weighing machine, we called it as taraju. It was fun to stay on the shop. I thought I was the luckiest of our siblings who had got a chance to be a shopkeeper.

Yes, we had a shop where all food items and sweets we used to sell. My papa used to take care of it. It was a big shop for me as I was very small. When I used to come from the school I used to go and sit there for passing my time and for having some fun. I used to take my school bag also there so that when there was no customer I should do my school studies. “Now, Khushboo was known to everybody in the town.” I said to myself. My school friends also used to come at our shop to buy things and sweets. They were really amazed to see me handling the whole shop. Every time, when someone used to buy some sweets, I used to take one or two sweets for me from the box. Thus I didn’t need any lunch. The sweets were eaten more by me and less bought by the customers.

During the dinner time, papa and mum were discussing something about the shop. They were looking tense. I had never seen them in such tension. “Dekhoji, aapki tabiyat thik nahi hai. Bahut mahino se aapke pith ke dard se aapko bahut taklif hoti hai. Aap kisi achche doctor ko kyu nahi dikhate?” Mum was looking worried. She served a spoonful of desi ghee on papa’s rice. Papa took a bite and fed himself and said, “Kolkata ki meri behan ne wahaa ke ek doctor ke baare me bola tha. Sochta hu wahi jaake apna ilaaj kara lu.”

“To phir apni dukaan kaun sambhalega?” Mum asked him. She knew that the shop was the mean for our bread and butter but she also knew that what will happen if papa would leave the shop. She looked very tensed.

“Bhaiya kuch mahino ke liye dukkan sambhalege.” Papa continued. “After all, woh mera bhai hai aur mera uspar khud se bhi jyaada vishwas hai.” Papa finished his food and got up from his seat.

Mum asked him in lower tone, “Par, agar…”

Papa cut her speech and in an angry voice he said, “Arre, wo mera bhai hai dushman nahi. Wo meri dukaan kha nahi jaayega.” Papa thought that my mum does not trust my uncles. So he was very angry at mum. I did not know who was right and who was wrong, all I was knowing that from the next day, I would not be allowed to sit in the shop.

The next morning papa went to Kolkata. He handed over the shop to my uncle. I felt that the shop is no more mine. My chair, in the shop, was occupied by one of my cousins and now he was enjoying the sweets.

It took a long time for papa to return from Kolkata. Till the time my uncle used to give us rent of that shop. Papa returned after three months. He was looking no different. Still he had back pain and the problem was not solved. In the next week only he planned to go to Baroda for the surgery. I had a mausi in Baroda. She called him for the treatment because he was the youngest and the loveliest ones. Papa went to Baroda and returned after a long time. Papa had spent more time outside the family than with the family. Our daily routine was going on without my papa also.

Papa returned from Baroda and asked the uncle for the shop but uncle did not give him the shop. Uncle said that he had been taking care of shop since a year and the shop is no longer of my papa. Uncle even told that he was ready to pay the rent for the shop but the shop now belonged to him and not to my father. Papa was sad but my mum was crying a lot. She also had a fight with uncle on the shop but all in vain. We knew that papa respects his elder brothers and he would not ask them for the shop. The joint family was broken down due to that incident. But one thing happened good that mum came to know the true faces of everyone. “Nobody is there for you except yourself.” My mum said to us.

We planned to leave Bhagalpur as it was not possible to live in the family where hearts were broken by selfishness and cunning nature. Mum packed our things. I came from the school in the afternoon. I asked mum, “Mum, where are we going?”. There were tears in her eyes. She said wiping her tears off her face, “We are going away from this place. Pack your things properly. We are leaving tomorrow.” “But where are we going?” I asked one more question. “Your papa has got a very good job in Maharashtra. He got a job in a cement factory. So we are going there.”

We were leaving the house the next day. All bags were packed and we were ready to depart in the private bus. The bus was standing just in fornt of our house. The bags were kept in the bus. I held the hand of my younger siblings. We got into the bus. I got a window seat. From the window I could see our shop. It was not ‘our’ this time. I was feeling my heart was heavy and mind was not ready to leave the shop. That shop had become my friend, a place to study, a place to enjoy. River started flowing through my eyes as I watched that shop. Bus started but my eyes did not move from the shop till it disappeared.

“Khushboo ma’am, what happened?” Deepshikha ma’am asked me. She saw tears in my eyes and was worried what really had happened to me. I wiped my tears and said, “ Nothing ma’am. Something is there in my eyes. I will go and wash my face.” How could I tell her that I am still missing our shop. I am still missing those days, I am still missing everything I kept behind in Bahgalpur. I was still missing myself, my childhood and everything.